Day 339

I started a new job this week. I’m not going to talk about it, because legally I can’t. I signed a non-disclosure agreement. And it’s not that interesting anyway. Paper here, paper there…. Movie this, movie that. But I’m working with some people who I have worked with before and it’s kind of funny because they didn’t really recognize me. They did double takes. I had long red hair and now I have short blonde and pink hair. I guess it is quite the change, but to me it almost feels natural.

I guess that’s the thing about change… sometimes you don’t even notice, or sometimes it shakes your whole world. Like the day I discovered gray nail polish? That totally shook my world. The day I adopted my cat – totally changed everything (like having to bolt trashcans to the wall and deal with a ball of fur that eats with her hands). On the other hand, I didn’t even notice that I’m really into David Lynch stuff until I realized that I’ve watched a lot of David Lynch stuff in a short amount of time (true story). I didn’t realize that I grind my teeth until I woke up one morning with jaw pain. I didn’t notice that my coffee table was slowly getting shifted further and further off center along with the rug… until I did. I would argue that these little things matter. Does it matter that my coffee table was 6” off center? Not really, but I probably should have noticed since I’m a world-renowned detective. Wait, that’s not right. I probably should have noticed because I’m delusional and watch a lot of detective shows.

I think what I’m trying to grasp is awareness – subtle change vs. colossal change in a context that can lead to enlightenment. I actually hate the word “enlightenment.” It’s a word I used in 8^th grade Religion class to seem like I knew what I was talking about. Maybe I mean “consciousness,” but whatever… semantics, right? I think that what started my blonde year was the need for colossal change, but via subtle or “trivial” change. How consequential is your hair color? I managed to make a change have meaning despite its inherent superficial leanings. A journey of a thousand strands begins with a single hair color.

Today gets 5 Barbie Warhols: