Today I was alone in the office. Tumbleweeds practically blew up and down the halls. It was quiet, which is what I needed. I was very productive and it made me consider starting my own business. I think most people worry about starting their own business, not because of the financial hardship, but because they think they might get lonely in the work place, or lose the motivation to actually work.
I was impressed with my ability to stay on task while generally unsupervised. I listened to whatever music I wanted as loud as I wanted and I worked away. I ate whatever I wanted for lunch without feeling like I was being judged. I drank as many cokes as I wanted without reprisal. I got my work done without being interrupted, which is pretty much the worst. If you don’t have an office, with a door you can close, you will pretty much get bothered A LOT. I’m not saying that I don’t often welcome a distraction, you have to distract yourself sometimes to stay sane, but sometimes, people just suck. You’ll be deep into a spreadsheet and boom, they ask you about something stupid, like those new pretzel M&Ms. “No, I don’t like them, either. Now leave me the fuck alone so I can get this done and leave this place at a reasonable hour.”
Sometimes people don’t understand the physical, verbal, or social cues that are meant to end a conversation. Their obliviousness actually tends to impress me more than annoy me sometimes. I’m typing on my computer while we’re supposedly having a conversation… that usually means I’m so busy I can’t even stop my fingers from moving. I’m on the phone, and you just come up and start talking like I’m not on the phone. That’s just rude. I head towards the door, but when you don’t stop talking, I just lean on the doorframe with my eyes glazed over. You keep trying to engage me in the conversation by leaning forward and I take a noticeable step back. Even on the phone, I’ll say, “Well, it was nice talking to you,” but you just keep blathering on about how long it’s been since we actually talked or saw one another. Did you ever think that one of the contributing factors to us not hanging out or talking regularly could be your inability to understand social situations? We’ve all done it – worn out our welcome, missed some vital clue that it was time to go, voiced our opinion when it wasn’t wanted, misunderstood some body language… But there is a difference between those little faux-pas and being socially inept.
Am I being mean right now? I really don’t mean to be (get it? Same word… different meanings? Okay, I’ll stop). I think social ineptitude is a growing concern in this country now that every man, woman, and child is glued to an electronic device. We’ve forgotten how to interact with one another. I may be a blonde, but I’m not stupid, or socially inept. If anything, my BLONDE-ness has made me more well-liked and widely-accepted. I am definitely underestimated in every department, though. People always seem shocked that I actually have the mental faculties to hold down a job and do it well. They also seem shocked that I can navigate the often-treacherous world of office politics. My main key to success? To just not care what people think of me. It’s pretty freeing. If you boil it down, BLONDE = FREEDOM. I can’t help but imagine Mel Gibson with his face painted blue as he’s running along the battlefields, but he has flowing blonde locks and he yells, “BBBBBBBBLLLLOOOOOOOOONNNNDDDDEEEEEEEEE!!!!”
Blonde is synonymous with freedom. Someone alert Merriam-Webster.
Today gets 3 Barbie Warhols: 
hahaha I love it!
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