Day 116

I woke up this morning to discover that it was 4am, I was wide awake and sweating. My heart was racing and it actually took me a second to realize that I was okay… Which brings me to a segment I like to call:

DR. BLONDIE’S WEIRD DREAM ANALYSIS

I had a dream that I was on vacation in Colorado on a horse ranch. I’m not sure why or how, but it looked like the ranch from Hey Dude, but I didn’t recognize a soul. I was there alone.

My flowing red hair was long and braided to the side. I was wearing a Bruce Springsteen “Born in the USA” t-shirt. I was riding a horse around his pen bareback. He suddenly bucked and I went flying off. I landed hard on my back and crashed through the fence. I felt the earth give way beneath me. I thought I had really knocked my self hard since the world was moving, but I realized I was being dragged away from the horse. I saw 3 figures raise pick axes and slaughter the horse before it all went black.

I wake up to a stinging smell in my nose and I’m tied up to a pipe hanging from the ceiling. My braid has been cut off and it’s laying on the floor in a pool of blood. It is at this point that I realize it’s my blood. I taste it in my mouth. I thought I was just wet, and in pain from the fall, but I look up at my hands and my left thumb is missing. It’s been severed. My tongue is in my mouth and I realize my teeth are gone. I see a man cooking on a stove. I think we must be in a basement because there is a sliver of a window where the wall meets the ceiling. Without a word, he comes over to me with pruning shears and attempts to cut off my nose.

…and then I wake up.

This dream is very violent, but it’s not just a nightmare about gore for gore’s sake. My analysis is as follows:

1. I’m in an isolated area, which means that perhaps I’m feeling lonely or isolated.

2. I’ve never ridden a horse, so perhaps this represents a desired pursuit

3. I have red hair in this dream because perhaps I still only identify myself as a redhead.

4. I’m wearing a Bruce Springsteen shirt because perhaps this whole idyllic experience of me at a ranch represents the American Dream

5. Being bucked from the horse and attacked must mean all idyllic experiences have to end; the American Dream is dead. Perhaps my subconscious knows that whatever idealized goals I have in my head are antiquated. This is why unseen figures destroy my harmonious existence.

6. Waking up in an unknown, threatening environment must mean that I am uneasy about upcoming circumstances in my own life due to their uncertainty.

7. Having bodily harm inflicted on my while unconscious means that I feel taken advantage of in a stealth manner. I’ve been marred by a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

8. Losing my hair means that I’ve lost my identity. The same could be said of the thumb, but I think that also relates to being an evolved species. Without thumbs, we are really no different from the beasts.

9. Without teeth, we have no power. He have no means of obtaining sustenance on a primal level.

10. My blood being spilled must mean that I feel like my life force is being taken.

11. The unknown man is cooking because my fate is still unknown, but the fates are still at work.

12. The man goes to cut off my nose because it is the center of the face, irreplaceable, and your breath and life force flow through it. This may mean I fear irrevocable consequences of my actions.

Needless to say, this was a very disturbing dream, but at it’s heart there are very normal fears and anxieties. I’m going to eat two cookies and call me in the morning.

Today gets 2 Barbie Warhols: