Day 96

The first day back after a 3-day weekend is always tough. I kind of feel bad for the Tuesdays that suddenly turn into the world’s worst Mondays. I know that Tuesdays technically don’t have feelings, but I like to anthropomorphize objects when I should be making a preference. When I was little, I wouldn’t commit to a favorite color because I was convinced that the other colors would be mad at me. I was also pretty sure that if I slighted one of them, they would have their revenge by making me look bad in that color, or I wouldn’t be able to draw or paint well using that color. Sure, I would say my favorite color was yellow or blue or green or pink or whatever if someone asked, but in my heart it was never true. Who wants to hear my neurotic, paranoid inner monologue about how the colors will plot against me if not given the proper amount of attention?

Living in favorite color denial is sometimes very difficult. When you play board games or croquet or go bowling, having a favorite color that has been well-established helps prevent argument over who gets to be blue or red or cerulean. The fact that I’ve never really proclaimed a favorite color has irked my mother. She likes you to have a favorite color and a theme of some kind. My sister likes pink and purple and her themes are butterflies, daisies, roses, and any incarnation of the “Our Lady of Guadalupe” image (whether it’s a throw, candle, or car air freshener – all which totally exist, by the way). The walls of my bedroom in my parents’ house have been 3 different colors. It was pink since birth; then around age 10 I wanted it mauve (I had just discovered that this color existed); and after I saw Meg Ryan’s yellow bedroom in You’ve Got Mail, I wanted it to be a butter yellow (is Meg Ryan responsible for my new BLONDE life? Have her characters been so ingrained in me that all that I perceive to be BLONDE is, in essence, the same as Meg Ryan?) I never really committed to one color. My mom like for us to have favorite colors or themes so that shopping for us is easier. This also tends to lead to a lot of “just because” gifts because she will then be at the store or browsing through a catalogue and see something that reminded her of you. I have been assigner the Eiffel Tower/anything in French theme because I took French classes in school, and went to Europe for 2 weeks. I tend to get things that are pink, yellow, burgundy or green. I’m also her little Blondie the elf, so she tends to go nuts for me around Christmas time. I’m not complaining at all. I love my mom. I just can’t believe how my indecision can affect others – about something so trivial. How the hell did I choose a hair color? (I guess this was easier because I put a time limit on it... right?)

Today gets 3 Barbie Warhols: