Day 56

Today was my first day at my new gig. It’s actually really hard to work a full day when you’ve been off for a few weeks. I imagine I’ll be dead by Friday. I think tomorrow will be a double-espresso-shot-kind-of-day.

I think that my blonde hair had little to no effect on my day, although a guard did stop me for no real reason, so I either looked suspicious or he wanted to talk to a hot blonde. I really couldn’t tell you which one it was.

I watched the first part of “Oprah’s Surprise Spectacular” when I got home. I would really like a surprise spectacular. This will probably never happen since I’m not Oprah. I think that Oprah’s last show will be one for the books. I know she has her network and everything, but it’s the end of an era. What will the world be like without “The Oprah Winfrey Show”? I think the world may end on Thursday.

Is it really the end of May? The days really slip away, don’t they? This year is nearly half over and I feel as though it’s just begun. I swear it was January yesterday. In the spirit of marveling at the passage of time, I’ve been pondering my bucket list. I'm sure you're all dying to know what's on my list (get it? dying? no? okay.):

- Skydive

- Go camping at Yosemite, Yellowstone, and Big Sur

- Eat at the Space Needle in Portland

- Travel to South Africa, India, Australia, and New Zealand

- Help build schools or something in another country

- Spend a week in Alaska during the 30 days of night

- Be blonde

- Be brunette

- Have an unnatural hair color for a week (probably pink)

- Go to Seattle for some reason

- Adopt another kitten

- Learn to surf

- Learn to play the guitar

- Sing the Hall & Oates classic "Kiss on my list" in public to someone and totally mean every word.

- Get a story published

- Buy a car on my own

- Inspire a musician to write a song about me (even a bad one)

- Cook a pot roast

- Go to Machu Picchu (and/or reenact the Motorcycle Diaries)

- Go to New Orleans before, during, and after Mardi Gras

- Get more tattoos

- Learn to ski

- Have an solo art show in a gallery

- Finish writing anything that I start

- Travel somewhere by boat and pretend to be a pirate

- Start a charity that helps kids learn and appreciate art

- Keep a plant alive for at least a year

- Inventory all my DVDs

- Read every book I own

- Beat every video game on my shelf (or at least 5)

- Watch every Hitchcock film in a week (I haven’t done the math, but this is probably impossible)

- Kiss someone in the back of a taxi or limo like in the movies (believe it or not this has never actually happened to me)

- Buy a vintage movie theater and run it during my retirement

- Go to wine country in Northern CA. See how wine is made.

- Go to wine country in Southern France. See how wine is made.

- Spend a summer in Tuscany

- Find my homeland in Ireland

This list is ever growing, but I’ll accomplish everything on this list before I die. Maybe even before I’m 30, but let’s not be too ambitious.

Today gets 3 Barbie Warhols: