Day 59

BLONDE THINGS THAT ROCK: EVERYTHING AMY POEHLER

I really do like Amy Poehler. I don’t watch Parks and Recreation as much as I should, but I think she’s adorable and funny, and dare I say, spritely? She really is funny and smart and most importantly: BLONDE. She’s also married to Will Arnett and sometimes I wonder what it would be like to live in their guesthouse and ingratiate myself into their extended family. If anyone would like to help me make this happen, feel free to let me know.

I think is says a lot that she was asked to speak at Harvard. I still kind of scoff at Yale and Harvard, but I think that’s because I will always and forever be a rebel and a reluctant class warrior. Amy Poehler is a type of woman we have been led to believe is a rare breed by our pop culture and societal norms. I think that all women have the ability to be smart, funny, beautiful, and BLONDE. This statement is not meant to belittle the achievements of Ms. Poehler, but is meant to challenge our own way of thinking. Women are smart and funny and don’t make jokes solely based on our vaginas or P.M.S. As Jennifer Check said in the Academy-Award* winning film Jennifer’s Body, “P.M.S. isn’t real, Needy. It was invented by the boy-run media to make us seem crazy.”

I also have Amy Poehler to thank (via Tina Fey's book Bossypants) for my new motto, “I don’t fucking care if you like it.” Amy, you may have created a monster. A beautiful, blonde monster!

Here’s the video of her Harvard speech:

And for those of you who are too lazy to watch the video, here are my favorite quotes:

“You may be wicked smart, but you’re not better than me.”

“I learned some rules [of improvisation] that I try to apply still today: listen, say yes, live in the moment, make sure you play with people who have your back, make big choices early and often…”

“You never know what is around the corner, unless you peek. Hold someone’s hand while you do it; you will feel less scared. You can’t do this alone. Besides, it is much more fun to succeed and fail with other people; you can blame them when things go wrong.”

“Continue to share your heart with people, even if it’s been broken. Don’t treat your heart like an action figure, wrapped in plastic and never used. And don’t try to give me that nerd argument that your heart is a Batman with a limited edition silver Batarang and therefore if it stays in its original packing it increases in value.”

Watching this made me happy that I’m a blonde. I also want to wear flowers in my hair.

Today gets 4 Barbie Warhols:

*”Academy Award” refers to the imaginary awards given out by the Academy of Movies People Should Watch that I founded yesterday in my bathtub.