Day 137

This morning I was able to work from home for a bit and it was lovely. I forgot how much I miss having mornings to myself (well, me and the cat). I took the time to make myself breakfast, something that I absolutely never do when I’m working. I still sent emails and made calls from home, but it was nice to do it all while still in my pajamas for a change. I’m really glad that I took the time because I didn’t stop at all today - not even to eat. It was an exhausting day, but rewarding.

I think you know that you like your job when you work really hard all day and despite the fact that you’re tired, sore, and hungry, you can’t really complain about the work itself. I could bitch all day about one person doing this or another person saying that, but the work itself is rewarding. I may not be teaching children, feeding the hungry, or saving the planet, but I like my job. The entertainment industry can be an awful place, and I think a lot of people think it’s a waste of time and money, but it serves a purpose. TV, books, movies, magazines, and music reach a wider audience than even I can even fathom, so what better medium to use to spread awareness about certain issues? Tell compelling stories that make you think? “Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime.” I like to think of movies and books and things the same way. I could work at a homeless shelter or teach school children, but perhaps I can reach a wider audience with movies and books. Not to devalue teachers or other service workers, I’m in competition with no one.

What does all this have to do with being blonde? It may seem strange, but because I’m so very aware of my external appearance and how others perceive me physically, I instinctively conclude what they must think of me as a person. “How does she contribute to society?” is a question that in my brain goes hand in hand with “why did she wear that skirt with those combat boots?” It may seem crazy, but that’s how the neuron transmitters in my brain are wired. I have serious difficulty separating how I am perceived physically from how I’m perceived mentally, socially, logically. And not just how I am perceived, but most importantly how I perceive myself.

I wonder if the only way to truly know and/or experience this distinction without prejudice would be to be blind. However, you could then argue that if you weren’t blind your entire life, you could still, theoretically have these societal norms ingrained in you. It’s all very complicated and my addled BLONDE brain can’t be bothered to sort it out anymore today.

Today gets 4 Barbie Warhols: