Day 138

BLONDE AWARENESS DAY: BEWARE OF THE BLONDE MOMENTS

Do not change the channel, this is a test of the EMERGENCY BLONDE SYSTEM. If this had been an actual BLONDE emergency, you would have received instructions as to where to go and what to do. We will return you to your regularly scheduled BLONDE programming…

I swear that is the warning that goes through my mind when I feel my mind slipping. It usually happens when I haven’t had my coffee or I’m flustered. My mind gets all fuzzy and I can’t think straight. I can literally feel myself having what many people refer to as “blonde moments.” I think these are the same as “senior moments,” but they happen to younger people who are blonde. You forget something momentarily or you have a brain jumble. Sometimes I just can’t wrap my brain around certain things.

In my line of work, it’s really about creative problem solving. Someone needs a blue shirt, but the only shirts the vendor has in stock are red. I guess you have to find a different vendor, or figure out how soon this vendor can get you blue shirts. It’s like a freaking SAT problem where Jimmy leaves Station A at 10:20am on a train going 50 mph, and Ted leaves Station B at 11:00am on a train going 75 mph; When would their trains cross? I think just typing that sentence gave me a headache.

I know that all this “blonde moment” bullshit is in my mind, but aye, there is the rub. It’s already been planted in my mind, so how can I un-plant it? It’s like reverse inception (that’s called “extraction,” you dumb blonde!). The whole dumb blonde myth that our society perpetuates is ridiculous. I know it and you know it, but there are still blonde jokes and even now, as a blonde, I use my blonde-ness as an excuse for things. That’s not really fair, but I can’t really believe that I can single-handedly change society. I’m not that diluted. Or am I dialated? Just kidding – blonde moment.

Today gets 4 Barbie Warhols: