Day 18

This post will have SPOILERS about Scream 4. You’ve been warned.

As predicted, four of the six blondes bite the dust. One is inconclusive because she’s in the film-within-a-film (Kristen Bell does not meet her demise on screen, but you can assume that since she’s in a fictional slasher film within a slasher film, she will die but I can’t count it for technical reasons, but I also can’t include her in my list of survivors) and you could argue the same of Heather Graham’s “fictional” Casey Becker in the “Stab” movie, you never see her death, but it is implied (but this is a rehash of the “Stab” film we saw in Scream 2, and I didn’t include her in my previous post, so if I’m staying consistent, I shouldn’t include her here). In the end, Marley Shelton is the only blonde who makes it, and that’s probably because she is a female cop with a gun. In the previous films, there is a lack of competent police officers as well as a female law enforcement presence. She makes amends for some of that, but there are still two somewhat bumbling cops that get killed when they know what could be coming.

Overall, I was pleased with the film, and to be honest, there is nothing like seeing it with a great audience. There were some chatty bitches sitting next to me who I wanted to slap, but they eventually shut up. I was at the midnight screening and it was great. I think any movie can be great with a good audience. That’s probably excessive optimism, but the shared experience of watching a movie is a seminal event that will soon be lost on our future generations. Soon everything will be streaming directly to our corneas or whatever and there will be no need for actual shared experiences. I’m sure at some point we won’t even be having sex by having sex. It will be like those weird headbands in Demolition Man.

I spent most of my mental mind power today trying to think about horror films with blonde female leads who actually survive. Granted, I didn’t think very hard, but all I could come up with was Rosemary’s Baby. Rosemary (Mia Farrow) has a blonde pixie cut and she manages to survive, but I can’t really say that things end so well for her or her baby. I think some fates are worse than death. So, in a horror movie, being blonde is a death sentence.

Note to self: If I find myself in any sort of situation resembling the horror genre, I should probably just cut and run. Or make sure I’m locked and loaded at all times.

Today is 3 Barbie Warhols: